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View Full Version : Reproduced from a midweek bulletin from unrivaled Poker broadsheet The SUnday Swish


Kat
11-25-2009, 09:16 PM
Thanks to the tireless efforts of our crack team of reporters, TSS is proud, elated, and dressed to the feline nines to report the World Exclusive story [1] that UIGEA implementation has been delayed six months beyond the December 1st date mandated by some asshat who never had to get home at 4 a.m. with his roll in his pocket through bits of London you don't see on some ****ing awful movie with Hugh Grant.

So why did this happen now? Some outlets have reported that, in the countdown to the 2012 thing with the Mayans and the Galaxy and all that, the Gregorian calendar is superseded by the Peckian one, so that Dec 3 2009 is actually New Year's Day of the Year of the Bostonian Homosexual. This is, of course, total crap, but nonetheless, diminutive Rep. B. Frank has somehow degrinched the HolyGameofPokerDays to such an extent that repressive, puritanical dickheads have been forced to shut their pie-holes for five minutes and let the voice of reason peel across this Union like the dulcet tones of that daft bint dressed as a nun with the goats in Austria and stuffus.

We here at TSS have a proud tradition of supporting the right of anyone, irrespective of gender, race, creed, religion, or football team, to sit across the green felt and smash the living bejayzus out of any other person, irrespective of the stuff mentioned in the previous clause.

The months ahead will not be easy. But they never are. So forget about the months ahead and party like it's queens full of nines.


[1] Maybe we cribbed it off Bluff and PokerNews. So sue us.